Negative nostalgia.

I am re-reading my blog, trying to work out whether or not I am happy, or if not, have I at least written anything enjoyable? Sometimes I really can write. I need to hold onto this.

Vienna & Linz

In case anyone was wondering, coming out of an U-bahn station at 5am into a completely empty square in Vienna, Austria and being confronted by the Stephansdom is more than terrifying.

Jordan POV:
http://www.travelshop.de/kreuzfahrten/arosa/donau/wien_stephansdom_ke.jpg

Not that I actually took that picture. Living the camera-less lifestyle forces one into petty photo thievery.

Mmmm, curry.

Dear Panic,
Why do you attack me?
Gruß,
Jordan

Quick Updates

I have been too busy catching up on Joe's blog to do any updating of my own.

I'm still having fun, still trying to figure out the best way to stay indefinitely, drinking less, and trying to settle down (we still don't have a permanent apartment!).

Jason is here until the end of the week. Julia and Jordan the First are coming to visit tomorrow.

My entire class just returned from a week-long "excursion" to Munich, Vienna, and Bratislava (the capitol city of Slovakia). I put excursion in quotes, because that word makes me think of hacking through jungle vines with a machete, rather than 70 overpriviledged kids getting Fahrkarten and perusing expensive cities at their leisure.

Hannah visited me for a week in Berlin and it was amazing. Then, when I was in Vienna, she came there for a couple of days. Now I miss her more than ever. Really. I don't think I've ever missed her this much before.

Transcription

For some reason, when I sit down in class and draw out my pen to take notes, inspiration comes freely. Here is one such thing that I wrote. I wanted to avoid awkwardness, so I fictionalized all of the incriminating details.

I don't know why he reminds me so much of Daniel. His face isn't similar, and the way they behave is nothing alike. Initially, outwardly, their bodies have the same silhouette. Daniel is taller, but they're both skinny -- in a way that is bony but not sharp -- with wide shoulders. Each shoulder is horizontally level; barely any slope before the arms, hanging down in perfect right angles. His hair is slightly similar to Daniel's, but they both have kind of boring short hair that is not uncommon for boys who don't care. The faces themselves don't look alike, but the way they speak is as if they dual personalities. Both speak with an easygoing gentleness that feels like it lands on you from above instead of directly attacking you face to face. A big difference is that I have only seen him smile maybe once, whereas Daniel's voice reflects his constant half-smile. His voice is very reserved; quiet, but in a way that makes you want to lean closer to hear, not that breaks your interest.
When Daniel spoke to me after a long absence, his voice struck me as so beautiful; far more so in person than on the phone. The way he addressed me was so melodic in a masculine way, so complimentary and safe that I immediately felt at ease. When I first saw his form, backlit, on some corner in Sacramento, I was surprised at how wide his shoulders were, much wider than his hips. Combined with huge muscles, this would look distasteful, but without bulk it's the shape I prefer. I was intimidated to see someone with whom I'd been distantly in love for two years, but after 30 minutes, when we were facing each other in bed, I felt completely at ease. Not that I felt confident, far from it, but the way he looked at me so fondly allowed me to feel his gentle approval, though it didn't seem pompous. He acted expectant towards me, in such a way that it seemed like he knew and approved of every word I said before it reached my tongue. When he kissed me, I realized how large his lips are; we were pretty much a perfect match in that respect. From the angle I could see him, he looked so much like my friend Nick; the way his eyes glowed down at me from their place above his nose. Nick was in love with me when he gave me that look; I think Daniel just loves people in general. The look in his eyes has a way of entering your pupils and extending to the ends of every appendage. He looked at me like a painter appraising a model -- a truly talented artist who loves every square millimeter of paint on his canvas.

Muenchen & Wien

Tomorrow I leave with my class for a week-long trip to Munich and Vienna. I am very anxious about spending a week quarantined in a youth hostel with 70 people I'm expected to communicate with. When did I become so antisocial?

Oh, the horror.

Orientations of any kind bring out the worst in those people who are already unbearably annoying. I consider myself to be a rather social person, that is, I like getting out of the house and meeting people with whom I can have a decent conversation. I'm not pretentious enough to presume that every one will be life-changing, and I enjoy them nonetheless. However, when people (particularly college students) gather into a group for the first time, there are always those girls (and yes, it's only women) who feel the need to go out of their way to make it around the room and personally introduce themselves to EVERYONE. These introductions are alway done at top speed, the girl in question trying to cram as many names into her head in record time.

The thing that irritates me to no end is that usually during these already painful orientation gatherings, you usually have to go around and say your name individually at some point. There is a way to learn everyone's name in a way that is not... I don't think "vicious" is too strong a word. I personally am much more impressed by someone who comes up to me after I've announced my name to a group and begins the conversation with, "Jordan, right?" than someone who makes me repeat my name for a thirtieth time after it was crowded out by all the others she just HAD to learn.

So, yeah. Today was my first day of orientation. Everyone's American, some seem to be annoying, and the second person I met was from Sacramento. It's pretty much exactly the same as when I started at USF, only this time I had to travel 40 minutes to the misery instead of it living with me. That's a rather negative bright side, but I dig it.

I am now drinking tea in my apartment while my roommate paints in the other room, and I still don't have any money. I wish I could burn banks down long-distance.